Nacho Libre (2006) Quotes

I am the gatekeeper of my own destiny and I will have my glory day in the hot sun.

Chancho, when you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. Just for fun.

Underneath the robe you find a man. Underneath the man you find his nucleus.

Get that corn outta my face!

I looked like a fool last night. What took you so long!?

I get to lay in a bed by myself, all of my life. It’s fantastic.

Don’t you want a little taste of the glory! See what it tastes like!

You are crasssssy!

I know it is fun to wrestle. A nice pile-drive to the face; or a punch to the face; but you cannot do it because it is in the Bible not to wrestle your neighbor.

Tonight, I will fight the seven strongest men in town, maybe the world. And I will win because our heavenly father will be in the ring with me. And he and I will win 10,000 pesos.

Those guys were a couple a woosies eh.

I like your cow.

So anyways, let’s get down to the nitty gritty

They don’t think I know a butt load of crap about the gospel. But I dooo. Okay?

Anaconda Squeeze!

This man lived a good life. He had a wonderful woman, a lush garden,…and a collection of Russian nesting dolls. May he rest in peace.

Okay. Maybe I am not meant for these duties. Cooking duty. Dead guy… duty. Maybe it’s time for me to get a better duty!

I don’t want to get paid to lose. I wanna win!

They give me no eagle powers! They give me no nutrients.

Hey! Take it eeeaasy!

Nipple Twist!

I used to really like Ramses. I wanted to become him! But it turns out, he’s a real douche.

You gotta be kidding me. Everything you just said, is MY favorite thing to do, every day!

I saw a bum here, there were two bums actually. And I said to myself, “Let’s talk to these guys about the Gospel.”

Oh, you messed with the wrong guy this time!

Be grateful, Juan Pablo. Today is especially delicious.

It is true. I am Nacho. Maybe you have seen me on TV. NACHOOOOOOOOOO!

Do you remember when everyone was shouting my name, and I used my strength to rip my blouse.

You have not been baptized?

Would you like to join me in my quarters this evening….. for some toast.

Do you not realize that I have been having diarrhea since Easters!?

I don’t believe in god, I believe in science

Summon your eagle powers!

I think me and my friend are ready to go pro.

I don’t know why you always have to be judging me, just because I only believe in science.

I hate all the orphans in the whole world!

You gave them permission to hurt me like this.

Dear Lord, please bless Nacho with nutrients and strength. Amen.

GET OFF ME!

How did you get up here so fast?