Mad Hatter Quotes

No wonder you’re late. Why, this watch is exactly two days slow.

Clean cup, clean cup! Move down!

Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?
Alice: I’m afraid so. You’re entirely bonkers. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

Mad Hatter: Your carriage, my lady.
Alice: A hat?
Mad Hatter: Of course. Anyone can go by horse or rail, but the absolute best way to travel is by hat. Have I made a rhyme?

When that day comes I shall futterwacken… vigorously.

Alice: I’m sorry I interrupted your birthday party. Thank you.
March Hare: Birthday? My dear child, this is NOT a birthday party.
Mad Hatter: Of course not. This is an unbirthday party.

Alice: Mad Hatter, why is a raven like a writing-desk?
Mad Hatter: Have you guessed the riddle yet?
Alice: No, I give it up, what’s the answer?
Mad Hatter: I haven’t the slightest idea.

You used to be much more…”muchier.” You’ve lost your muchness.

There is a place, like no place on earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger. Some say, to survive it, you need to be as mad as a hatter. Which, luckily, I am.

What a regrettably large head you have. I would very much like to hat it!

Mad Hatter: Do you know why they call me Hatter?
Alice: Because you wear a hat?
Mad Hatter: No. Because I’m always there when they pass the hat, so to speak.

Mad Hatter: I’ve been considering words that start with the letter M. Moron. Mutiny. Murder. Mmm-malice.
Red Queen: Well, we’re looking for an A word right now. Where is Alice?

Mad Hatter: Speaking of the Queen, here’s a little song we used to sing in her honor…
Mad Hatter, Dormouse, The March Hare: “Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder where you’re at. Up…”
Mad Hatter, Dormouse, The March Hare: “Up above the world you fly, like a tea tray in the sky. Twinkle twinkle…”

Mad Hatter: Would you like a little more tea?
Alice: Well, I haven’t had any yet, so I can’t very well take more.
March Hare: Ah, you mean you can’t very well take less.
Mad Hatter: Yes. You can always take more than nothing.

Why is it you’re always too small or too tall?

Alice: This is impossible.
Mad Hatter: Only if you believe it is.

March Hare: Start at the beginning.
Mad Hatter: Yes, yes. And when you come to the end… STOP. See?

Alice: Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
Mad Hatter: That is an excellent practice.

March Hare: Have some wine.
Alice: I don’t see any wine.
March Hare: There isn’t any. And you’re too young.
Alice: Then it wasn’t very nice of you to offer it.
March Hare: It wasn’t very nice of ‘you’ to sit down without an invitation! This is a ‘private’ soirée.
Alice: Well, I suppose I shouldn’t have just barged in when I know I wasn’t invited. But the table was laid out for a lot of people.
Mad Hatter: My response to that is both profound and meaningful: get your hair cut!

The Jabberwock, with eyes aflame, Jaws that bait and claws that catch, Beware the Jabberwock, my son, The frumious Bandersnatch He took his vorpal sword in hand The vorpal blade went snicker-snack He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. It’s all about you, you know.

Yes, yes but you would have to be half-mad to dream me up.

Alice: I was sitting on the riverbank with uh… with you know who…
Mad Hatter: I DO? *chuckles*
Alice: I mean my C-A-T.
Mad Hatter: Teeeea?
*slices a tea cup in half*
March Hare: Just half a cup, if you don’t mind.

Mad Hatter: What’s the matter my dear, don’t you care for tea?
Alice: Why, yes. I’m very fond of tea.
March Hare: If you don’t care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!

Down with the bloody Red Queen!

Oh, tea! I never “thought” of tea! “Of course”!

Alice: What a funny watch! It tells the day of the month, and doesn’t tell what o’clock it is!
Mad Hatter: Why should it? Does YOUR watch tell you what year it is?
Alice: Of course not, but that’s because it stays the same year for such a long time together.
Mad Hatter: Which is just the case with MINE.

Mad Hatter: Personal remarks are rude?
Alice: Mm-hmm.
Mad Hatter: Egad, you learn something new every day. Make a note of that, Marchy, it might come in useful.

The last uhm, the last time a girl called Alice came here from your world she brought down the whole House of Cards. Oh yeah. Made quite an impression. Although, it was 150 years ago. It can’t be the same girl. Oysters don’t even live that long.

Alice: Who are you?
Mad Hatter: A friend. I hope.

OK, he’s as mad as a box of frogs.

Trust me. I know a thing or two about liking people, and in time, after much chocolate and cream cake, ‘like’ turns into ‘what was his name again?’.

Alice: I have a little money, but I understand you don’t use that here.
Mad Hatter: Pieces of paper! *whispers* Pointless.

Mad Hatter: I’d like to keep it on.
Executioner: Suit yourself. As long as I can get at your neck.

March Hare: Then you should say what you mean.
Alice: I do, at least―at least I mean what I say―that’s the same thing, you know.
Mad Hatter: Not the same thing a bit! You might just as well say that “I see what I eat” is the same thing as “I eat what I see”!

Mustard! Yes, mu- MUSTARD? Don’t let’s be silly! Lemon, that’s different…

Yes, that’s it! *sigh* It’s always tea time.